at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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