you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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