I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize