are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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