these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
