The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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