i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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