Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
