so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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