I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize