If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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