Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
