I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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