Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
