I accidentally burped into my bong.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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