I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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