Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize