Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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