so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just google imaged poop.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
