It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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