so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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