my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
