I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
a search helicopter?!
So many bounce houses so little time
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
