Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
