Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
