dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
