So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm sobbing to NWA
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
