she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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