Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
