Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize