...so i touched it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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