Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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