Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
