They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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