Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
porn star boner night. come get it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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