I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
