Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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