And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize