if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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