My liver just broke up with me...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
