for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We're too hungover to prance.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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