Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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