I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
