As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
