You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
