i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
