JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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