im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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