I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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