Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Panties = found
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
