yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize