i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
