I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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