we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize