I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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