Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
