I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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