Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
