My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm passing your future prison.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
