Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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