He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
